And I really wonder why am I so affected by it!!
Things are getting awkward between us..didn't want to it to turn out like that...but haiz..i wish we could just remain at the friends level and go back to the times where we could talk and joke naturally...
***This week went back to work..went out to lunch with my colleagues on one of the days...while in the car they started talking about the topic on marriage..one of my colleague said: 婚前和婚后都不一样，婚前有爱情但婚后久了就没有了爱情只有感情；结婚不只是两人而已，是牵扯到很多人.(There's a difference between before and after marriage, love exist before marriage but it does not exist after marriage, only affection exists; Marriage is just not about 2 parties but it involves many parties.)Somehow, I seem to agree with what he said. Not that I have been through that before..LOL...but what he said actually does makes a lot of sense. Just look around ourselves, perhaps the most perfect example would be our parents. Do they behave like they are still in those hot honeymoon times saying and doing sweet stuffs to each other or go pa-tal-ing together every few other days like they used to be before marriage? Most probably not. Everything they do, they will have to think twice like: how about the children? how are they going to settle themselves? concern about this think about that....But there's definitely affection because they still care for each other giving them the utmost priority=)
So many things that I wanted to blog about but ended up not blogging simply because I am too tired...haha...Anyway work's been getting much better not the workload but with the people...in fact I enjoy going to work everyday...haha...it's so much ironic from my first 2 weeks...left about 3 more weeks there and I am starting to feel kinda reluctant to leave actually...haha...but well everything will have an ending to it eventually...shall treasure my remaining days there and mark a memorable ending=)))
Hmmmm...
People are so scary sometimes. You just don't know what they are thinking deep inside.
I did mention that people there are generally good but I would like to add, to a certain extent.
I just don't like the feeling of knowing some people talking behind my back. Not a good feeling.
My personality is just like that. I don't usually open up so easily to people unless I've gained enough trust in that person. It just takes time for me to build up the trust, might be as long as a few years. Perhaps, that might be disadvantageous sometimes, especially in this reality world, but it's also because of this that I am able to know a few really reliable people.
It's not like I haven't been trying. I did. But somehow I feel insecure of opening up especially when I have already witness a few politics going around.
In the first place, it's not like they have been giving me a warm welcome and embedding me with good impressions, so why are they hinting to me that it's my problem??!!??
Credits to *rafinerija-DeviantART
Last week I received a call from my agent that there's an assignment for me. It was a very last minute notice because the day when she called me was the day that I need to report for work. This assignment only lasts for 1 mth, but well, it doesn't matter, at least better than nothing.
People always say to make a good impression, first day of work must not be late but I was late right on the very first day, in fact was almost late on the second day=.=...
On the first day, was supposed to report at 1pm, but I was half an hour late because I was having trouble in navigating the directions to my workplace, first I was lost in locating the interchange where I have to take the bus from...called up LK and with her help I managed to find the interchange..waited for the bus and by the time it came, it was already 12.50pm. Knowing that I couldn't make it in time I called up my agent to help me inform the company. Then, another disaster came. I overshot one bus stop=______=. Initially, I thought never mind the distance of 1 stop difference shouldn't be that big. I could just get down the next stop and walk back BUT I was TOTALLY WRONG! The one stop difference is like totally so OMG! big difference!! I looked at my watch 1.20pm!!! In the end, I left with no choice but to take a taxi. When I reached there, I explained to the HR person and luckily he wasn't angry and he said usually when people came to work on the first day, they faced the same problem even he himself also. Phew! So, I wasn't the only one! Haha...
But then, on the second day, I was lost again=______________=. I took a different bus because I have another direct bus from my house. I came prepared with some research done on the internet the previous night for the directions. But still, I can't seem to find that place. Luckily, I got a colleague's number the day before and sought help from there. Initially they verbally told me how to get there over the phone, but I just couldn't get it. After a while, I think they gave up on me(LOL!) and they asked another colleague to drive and pick me up from the place I was at. On the way back, had a few conversations with the colleague and that was when I realised I overshot by 1 bus stop again!! WTH! I felt so stupid! But come to think of it, can't blame me also because the place is seriously in a ooloo place and I was really stopping at the bus stop where I found on google map. So it's partly the google map's fault!!Ahahaha!! When we reached the workplace, my colleague just stopped at the center of an area where all the workers were around. It was very embarrassing because when I got down, everyone was like looking at me. I could even feel that some of them are laughing like that la. Wanting to avoid the uncomfortable attention, I walked to the office in quick steps...
I was really frustrated that I could not find my directions right, not wanting history to repeat itself again, I did a detailed research on the directions and went out early on the third day. 皇天不负苦心人！Finally I found my workplace!! LOL! It may not seem impressive at all but I was so proud of myself!XD
***I would describe the working environment as an uninteresting, sian job(afterall it's an office admin job so it's expected) and at times I really hated it. How ironic hur? When I don't have a job, I complained. When I have a job, I complained also..haha...but I guess it depends on how much interest & passion you have for your work, if you like this kind of working environment, you wouldn't have feel lethargic at all. For me, I just haven't found the right kind of job yet! File, file file; type, type, type; print, print, print are mainly the things you do. Almost doze off on a few occasions...but glad to say that actually the time there passes quite fast la...haha..people there generally are ok(I think) just that there are some weird characters which I won't describe it here(because it's not always safe to mention certain things on blog)...and definitely there are office politics which I have witness it myself..Oya one thing that I am happy about working there is because I do not have to wear formal to work!!:D
Well, anyway, for the sake of getting paid I will just endure, afterall it's also a temp job.
Work aside, I am pretty worried for my applications to uni. It's already mid April, but NIE hasn't called me up for interview yet(Neither did SIM). I don't expect that I will get into the degree course but at least let me end up in the diploma course!!Haiz:(
The only thing that I want to describe about my life now would be "FML!"
Alright, it doesn't sound right to be coming from me but that was how I felt about my life now....I am jobless, have to think more than twice about buying stuffs, have to pay for my phone bill, sleep late at night and wake up late the next day, watch shows, going out and meaning withdrawing $>depositing, worrying for my applications=.=...GOSH! I hate the lifestyle that I am living now...am absolutely not proud of it at all!!
Before holiday started, I was having my naive thoughts that it would be very easy to find a job but now I would say "My foot ar!" If anyone has this kind of thought, please eradicate it completely!! Finding a job is not easy at all!! Wanted to go into relief teaching but guess what? Called up 8 schools and all have no vacancies at all..How great!? Then went for interview for the KD job that cousin introduced me-NO CALL! So now I turned to jobs on portals...have been sending more than 10 resumes out to different agencies but they seem to be useless...talking about those agencies just make me boils!!(shall not elaborate on it but all I can say is job agencies are so not reliable from what I have been experiencing so far!). Perhaps, I should just find a millionaire lad and married myself off hah...LOLSS!OMG!WHAT RUBBISH!!WAKE UP TWP!!HAHA...
Hmm..Sometimes growing up can be such a chore simply because things just become more complicated and there's so much things to be "烦" about...Well, if i could turn back the time(as quoted from one of the FB fan page), I would definitely choose to turn back to 16 yrs old! That's where most of my fond memories are. Not that I do not enjoy those "after 16 yrs old" years, it's just that that particular year, it's a much more simpler, purer and a happening life, not as complicated as after that. That's what I honestly thought.
Anyway, back to reality, hopefully by next week I would be able to get a job (haiz, I've been repeating that every week..lol) & probably some good news from my application!Wish me luck!:D
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